


I, Sirius Orion Black

by RoyalCrimsonCloak



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Character Bashing, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-24 00:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23167534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyalCrimsonCloak/pseuds/RoyalCrimsonCloak
Summary: When Sirius Black passes through the Veil, his Will is read. What surprises await the beneficiaries of his Will? Major AU; character bashing.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Harry Potter
Comments: 19
Kudos: 113





	I, Sirius Orion Black

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This story is inspired by a prompt from Harmony & Co. on Facebook. Kudos also to those who commented ideas on the post, as well as kgfinkel for his hilarious prank ideas! I do not own the Harry Potter characters; I just play with them. Thank you as always to my faithful readers and to MrsRen for her guidance. Much love. -RCC (Excerpt in bold is taken directly from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

****

**Only one couple were still battling, apparently unaware of the new arrival. Harry saw Sirius duck Bellatrix's jet of red light, and laughed at her. "Come on, you can do better than that!" He yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room.**

**The second jet of light hit him squarely in the chest, cutting his laughter short.**

**The laughter had not quite died from his face, but his eyes widened in shock.**

**Harry released Neville, though he was unaware of doing so. He sprinted down the steps again, pulling out his wand, as Dumbledore turned to the dais too.**

**It seemed to take Sirius ages to fall. His body thrashed in midair as he sank backward through the ragged veil hanging from the arch—**

**Harry saw the look of mingled fear and surprise on his godfather's wasted, once-handsome face as he fell through the ancient doorway and disappeared behind the veil, which fluttered for a moment as though in a high wind and then fell back into place.**

**Harry heard Bellatrix Lestrange's triumphant scream, but knew it meant nothing—Sirius had only just fallen through the archway, he would reappear from the other side any second.**

**But Sirius did not reappear.**

**"SIRIUS!" Harry yelled. "** **_SIRIUS_ ** **!"**

**He reached the floor, his breath coming in shallow gasps. Sirius must be just behind the curtain, he, Harry, would pull him back out again.**

**But as he sprinted toward the dais, Lupin grabbed Harry around the chest, holding him back.**

**"There's nothing you can do, Harry—"**

**"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!"**

**"It's too late, Harry—”**

**"We can still reach him—”**

**Harry struggled hard and viciously, but Lupin would not let go.**

**"There's nothing you can do, Harry.” Still, Harry struggled against an iron grip.“** **_Nothing_ ** **. He's gone."**

_Gringotts Bank, Head Goblin office July 15, 1996:_

  
  


“Welcome to the official reading of the will of Sirius Orion Black. If you will all please be seated, we will begin.” The older goblin growled. The mismatched group scrambled to find seats, Lucius Malfoy vying for one of the front seats, hopeful that he’d receive a tidy sum from his wife’s dead cousin. 

Fred and George chose seats near the middle, unaccompanied by their mother, who was preoccupied with the goblin guards in the lobby. Her unearthly shrieks could be heard even in the office. Harry and Hermione slipped into seats near the back of the lavish office, intent on avoiding the mob. The goblin slipped on gold wire half moon frames and began unfurling the scroll. Each person held their breath collectively as the goblin finished unrolling it. He cleared his throat and began reading. 

“To whom it may concern: If you’re reading this, it’s likely because I was being an arse and tried to cheat death again but this time it won. 

“Also, if you’re reading this, I did **not** betray James and Lily Potter. I took the Godfather vow on August 1, 1980. If I had betrayed them, I would have died on the spot after their deaths. 

“It was the rat— Peter Pettigrew. His animagus is a rat,as you might have gathered, missing a front toe. So; I, Sirius Orion Black, being of sound mind and smokin’ hot bod do hereby bequeath the following: 

  
  


“To my daughter, Hermione Jane Granger-Black, I leave everything, with the exception of a bit of money and personal items. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner, kitten. Truly I am. But the years I had of knowing you were the happiest. I love you always, kitten. I loved your mum, Hermione, and I don’t regret our relationship.”

Gasps rushed across the room, intermingled with outcries of shock. 

“That filthy mudblood is his daughter?!” Narcissa shrieked, face turning red. 

“Mrs Malfoy, control yourself!” the goblin barked, as the guards pointed their swords menacingly toward the pureblood. 

Harry looked over at his best friend, whose face had also paled. “Mi, just breathe, it’ll be alright.” He threaded their fingers together and rested their hands against his bouncing knee.

She nodded shakily, unable to speak. 

Galeknot continued reading, “To my cousin Andromeda Charles Tonks neé Black, first off, I hereby reinstate you as a Black. My insane mother is exactly that—insane. You were a truer Black than any of your sisters were, if we’re being honest.Ahem. As head of the house of Black, I have the right to reinstate, so I am. Secondly, I leave you the sum of 100,000 galleons to help you get back on your feet. Don’t fight me, ‘Meda. I love you and I want you to be happy, even if it means spreading the wealth a bit. 

“To my best friend and brother in all but blood, Remus John Lupin. I’m sorry,Moony. I wanted to be around when you had pups, because you’re getting old Remus.” Chuckles littered the room, then silence reigned once more. “Anyway, to you I bequeath 400,000 galleons. Get some decent robes , Moony. That’s an order. I also bequeath the townhouse in Hogsmeade. It’s warded and in good shape. Use it wisely!”

Remus looked at his lap, eyes suddenly blurry but the smile on his face was unmistakable. 

“To my dear cousin Nymphadora Tonks, I leave my Auror equipment. It saved my hide more times than I can count. I know you always wanted to be an Auror, Nymphie. So my dragonhide armour is now yours.” 

Tonks covered her face, blushing with embarrassment. Andromeda squeezed the younger girl’s arm in comfort, smiling proudly. 

“To Narcissa Dorea Malfoy neé Black, I hereby dissolve your marriage to Lucius Abraxas Malfoy. As the head of the house of Black, I have the right to do so. To the goblin who is reading this, I have provided pensieve memories to prove that dear old Lucy is a death muncher. They are locked in the box that I put into your safekeeping. I also refuse to take you back into the Black family, Narcissa, so from this day, you and your little snotty brat are No-Name, unless someone’s kind enough to take you in.”

Narcissa choked on her breath, slumping into her seat. 

“To Bellatrix LeStrange neé Black, I leave my former cell at Azkaban. Hope you enjoy it, dear cousin. I also hereby officially dissolve your marriage to dear old Roddy. Sorry, cuz.”

“To Minerva McGonagall, fondly known as Minnie: I bequeath unlimited access to the Black library. The goblins have received instructions to clean up Grimmauld place and get the dark books out of the library first. I also donate 50,000 galleons to the Transfiguration department at Hogwarts, because you helped me help Moony. For that, I am forever grateful.”

Minerva blushed at the nickname, allowing a small smile to break up the stern lines of her face, as well as to wipe away a few stray tears.

“To my godson, Harry James Potter, I love you like my own pup. I’m just sorry we didn’t have more time together. However, the Potter legacy leaves you well provided for. If you have no clue what I’m talking about, the Goblins will gladly help you. And Dumbledore, you doddering old fool—you WILL pay for that! I leave to you my broom collection, the watch your grandfather—Charlus Andrew Potter—gave me, and my chocolate frog cards. Oh, and Hermione. The marriage contract is attached, Pup! This officially abolishes all other contracts, as I am their legal and actual guardian. So suck it, Albus!” 

Harry’s jaw dropped, but he didn’t say a word, choosing to stay silent.

“Speaking of Albus, to Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Chief of the Turds, I leave the traitor’s sum: thirty sickles. Don’t spend it all in one place, now m’ boy! As for your little _mistakes_ , the Goblins will deal thoroughly with you. One last thing, I leave to you one of my favourite pairs of socks. I think you’ll really like these, Albus.”

“To Rubeus Hagrid, I leave my treasured motorbike, and 5000 galleons to travel to the dragon reserves in Romania. Enjoy it, Hagrid, as a thanks for taking care of my godson.”

The gentle giant, bless him, sobbed into the tablecloth-sized handkerchief as Minerva helplessly patted his arm.

“To the brilliant Weasley twins, I leave my pranking journals. May they serve you well. You’ve great minds. Use them—and the journals—properly!”

“Wicked!” the twins breathed, overlapping one another.

“To Sniv… er Severus Snape, I leave a letter of apology. I would advise you not to open it in front of anyone. It’s rather touching and I don't want to embarrass you.” 

Severus scowled, but his face softened when he heard that the mangy dog was apologising to him after all these years.

The goblin peered over his spectacles at the small crowd gathered in his office. 

“This concludes the reading of the will. If you were bequeathed an item, please remain seated so we can discuss the parameters of the stipulations.” 

Lucius positively growled, but rose from his seat and exited the office. How could that blood traitor do such a thing? His solicitor had sworn there wouldn’t be an issue when the marriage contract was penned! He was counting on that Black money to further fund his endeavours to his liege and lord.

Narcissa sat numbly in her seat. _Disowned? Where would she and her son go?_ She looked for Lucius, only to find him heading quickly toward the exit. Their marriage had certainly not been one of love, but she _had_ come to care for him over the past nearly thirty years. She was proud to be a Malfoy. But her husband’s scrape with Azkaban had changed things. Meanwhile, Severus was deep in thought. _Sirius must have really changed after we graduated from Hogwarts. He couldn’t have betrayed Lily and James, even though Albus implied that’s what had happened._

Albus stroked his beard worriedly. That was _not_ how it was supposed to go! Sirius’ will should have been kept sealed for another thirty years. The greater good depended on it! He couldn’t allow his boy to access the knowledge that lay in his family vaults. The Potter lad _had_ to die for the greater good so that he, Albus the Great, could claim the victory and that he vanquished not one—but two—dark lords. 

The goblin cleared his throat, breaking Albus out of his reverie. “Mr. Dumbledore, if you will, please follow Sharprod to the other office. He will help you there,” he said, smiling sinisterly. 

Albus stood as gracefully as he could for a 115 year old and exited the lavish office, a happy smile on his face, sure that the goblin would listen to reason and block Harry from gaining *any* knowledge about his family. 

Once Albus had gone, Galeknot turned his attention to those remaining in the room. 

“Mr Black has left additional instructions as well as letters for those mentioned in the will,” he stated, peering over his glasses at Harry, Hermione, the Weasley twins, Severus, and Draco and Narcissa No-Name. 

“Mr. Snape, your letter is to be unsealed by using a drop of your blood, to ensure that only you have opened it,” he said, indicating for the hook-nosed man to step forward and receive the letter. The man bowed and left the office. 

“Mr Potter, and Miss Black, please follow Blountrod to his office and he will oversee the handling of the things Mr. Black left for you.” 

The journals were handed to the Weasley twins as Hermione and Harry left the office. The twins bowed their thanks and hightailed it, eager to devour them— only to be met by their shrieking mother. 

Harry wrapped his arm around Hermione as they followed behind the goblin, Hermione leaning into him for strength. “Sirius was my father?!” she whisper-yelled, unable to believe it. “I am going to call his arse back from the Veil so I can kill him over again!” she fumed, face turning red. 

Harry really didn’t know what to say, so he wisely kept his mouth shut and merely nodded at his best friend’s rant. They had finally reached the office of Blountrod and were escorted in and directed to the plush chairs across from the high desk. 

“Now Mr Potter, I believe we have a lot of ground to cover. Do you know how many _years_ of Gringotts’ correspondence you missed because of Albus Dumbledore?” He snarled, flashing the infamous Goblin teeth. 

“N-no sir,” the young wizard stuttered. 

“Not to fret, young Potter. It will be rectified.” The goblin stated, a wicked smile on his face. Harry nodded, looking over at Hermione who was sat, slack jawed. 


End file.
